Those are some tough words to have to say at a minimum but they can also bring many more feelings than can be much worse than “tough”. Many of you know that I am searching for the next chapter in my career. Recently, I was contacted by some folks that I had met with in the past and there seemed to be a sense of excitement from both sides. The position was, ideal for me in my view. There were “buy” signals from all of us. The position would be challenging which was exciting, but what really intrigued me most about this role was the team that I would have been working with. These were seasoned guys that I could not help but respect. Like any potential new role there are challenges in front of you in just getting the offer. For me and my family, this role would have required a move far from our home in Nashville. That was going to be all right if it came to that and my wife and I had discussed it and felt that if this was where we were led, we would follow. So what happened?

I remember getting the call from the CEO. I like this guy and at this point I am just hopeful to have the opportunity to work under him. I basically am told that he and his team really like me and would love to have me on their team. I knew however, not by any inflection in his tone, that this was not ging to happen. He relayed to me that he felt that he needed someone with more “in the trenches” ops experience and he had come to the conclusion that I just have not had that experience yet and that he could not afford, for both our sakes, to bring me on for this specific role given his reservations. What to do, what to do? You have just been told that you are not the right fit and every fiber of your being may be telling you to fight. I am a fighter and as a matter of fact, I tend to go into a fight with my tail wagging. So why did I not try to convince him that his assessment of me was wrong? Simple, it wasn’t.

I don’t mean that I agree that I am not capable of excelling in the role that we had discussed, but he knew what he was looking for and I do not fit that view. Only he knows for sure what that fit looks like. Something told him that I was not that fit. In my younger days I would have countered and worked to convince him that I was a fit and that I would be a better fit than anyone else. But as I have grown through the years and accumulated experiences in my career I have learned some things. I have had to have this same conversation with many folks telling them that they were not the right fit. Once or twice I probably allowed myself to be convinced otherwise with the result being that ultimately my gut was right. So, instead of countering his objection, I just asked for some insight as to how he concluded that I was not a fit. I assured him that it was not my intention to change his mind; this was simply for my personal development. One of the things that I like about this guy is that he is to the point. He explained his position without trying to soft pedal or tell me how great I was. You know the “It’s not you, it me” routine. He gave me very constructive feedback that I am better for having heard. Ultimately, he wants to stay in touch and see if something else opens up for us to work together at a later date. I would welcome that opportunity.

Listen, I write this blog today to say that we must be very careful in our career search not to fit a square peg into a round hole. We can often be persuasive enough to convince others that they are wrong. Sometimes, it may work out perfectly but I would wager more often than not, it ends with disappointment. You may be 100% right that you can do the job, and maybe you can, but remember, you perception of what is needed to be successful may be entirely different than what they view as success. Sometimes you are doing yourself a favor by listening and learning as opposed to fighting for what you think is best. I have been there and done that and it has not always worked out for the best. If God wanted me in the role at this time, I would be signing the paperwork right now. I trust in Him that he knows what is best for me and that company. I wish them the very best and if the opportunity to work with them at a later date arises I would not hesitate to consider working with such an exceptional team of guys. It goes back the old saying; “be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.”